These Wounds Wont Seem to Heal
by oberobindobin
Summary: He hated this world and he hated himself. Yuuki was the only one who brought him joy, and her eyes were fixed on his enemy, Kaname. Zero had made a promise to Yuuki not to kill himself. But he couldn't take this much longer...
1. What Hurts the Most

He hated this world and he hated himself. Yuuki was the only one who brought him joy, and her eyes were fixed on his enemy, Kaname. Zero had made a promise to Yuuki not to kill himself. But he couldn't take this much longer. The pain inside him was excruciating. One night, he lay on his bed, tears pouring down his stony face. He had to let the pain out somehow. somehow....

He stood up and walked out of his bedroom, not even caring that he wasn't wearing a shirt and his towel stil lay on his head. He walked straight to the headmaster's apartment, walked into the kitchen, and grabbed the sharpest looking knife he could. He was walking all on his own. He hadn't thought of any plan. He wasn't intending anything. But the knife lay there in his slack hand as he walked slowly but deliberately back to his room. He didn't run into anyone....

The blade drew a long thin red line diagonally across his pale wrist. He winced in pain, then it went away as it healed quickly. After all, he was a Vampire. He smirked. He was able to feel pain that was not from his mind, but his body. It wasn't pleasurable, but it was better than the hurt inside. So he did it again, and again, and again. Each time though, the healing took a little longer because of the loss of blood. He cut into his skin about twenty times before he had finally had enough, he was starting to get a little light headed. His arm was dripping blood by now, and the gash wasn't healing quite yet. He felt a presence nearing. He hid the knife quickly away under his mattress and stood up. Whoever it was stopped by his door and knocked. He opened the door and saw Yuuki standing there. She looked up into his eyes with tears in her eyes. Instinctively he reached out to her but she saw the blood all over his arm and immediately forgot her problems.

"ZERO!" She grabbed his arm. "What happened?!"

"uh..it was an accident. It'll be fine. Look, it's already healing."

She gave him a worried look and pulled him by his other arm into the bathroom. She knew what was happening. She knew he had been very depressed to the point of suicide. She had trusted him not to commit suicide, but she nbut she was afraid he would do something like this. She helped him wash the blood off and tried bandaging it, but he said it would just heal soon, so to leave it. She threw her arms around his neck and sobbed into his neck. He put his hand on her back for support and just waited until she was ready to talk. When she had slowed to a stop, Zero pulled her back by her shoulders and looked her in the eyes.

"Yuuki, whats the matter?" She was stunned by his beautiful face being so close to hers once more. By his entrancing eyes, how his silky silver hair fell in front of them like a soft whisper.

"Yuuki?!" He shook her a little. She had spaced out. unable to think or speak in his close proximity. She shook her head to clear it and pushed him back a little, that was a mistake. She had placed her hands on his chest. His beautifully toned..and naked...chest. It was so warm, she could feel his heart beat, and the rumblings in his chest as his deep voice rang out...wait huh?

"Huh?!"

"What is going on! Why wont you answer me!? Are. You. O.K.?!" He shook her lightly as he said the last few words.

"Huh? oh...yea.. Im fine."

"Why were you crying?" _I shouldn't be the one crying, and it makes me cry more that he doesn't. __  
_

"Its nothing....Well, I just failed my exam...again. I'm so stupid!! And then I came over here and you were all bleeding and I just got caught up, Im sorry, I didnt mean to cry all over the place...."

"It's ok." He said quickly.

silence~

"You're not stupid." Zero finally broke the silence.

"eh?"

"You're not!"

"Psh-"

"Anyway, I like you just how you are." a blush crept to her cheeks. She knew he didnt mean it like the way she was hoping but he still made her a little happier.

"Well, I gotta get going, Kaname wanted me to go see him tonight." She stood up and walked to the door. She turned and smiled at him. "Bye Zero!"

He watched her go silently. Whenever she came around, she always made him happier, then she would leave, saying something like that, and his heart would wrench. He sighed, and closed his eyes. Before he knew it, there were three more red lines across his arm. They sat there, bleeding, not healing at all. He smiled and leaned his head back. Finally, he felt a bit human again. He let them bleed till he thought he would pass out, then he grabbed a towel and wrapped his arm tightly with it. He walked to his bed slowly and layed down.

When he woke up the next morning, the cuts were gone. But he was weak. He threw four blood tablets into a small cup of water and gulped it down. But it wasn't long before he was running to the toilet.

"DAMN IT!" His fist hit the wall as his anger flared. He broke two of his fingers and left a small hole in the wall.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!" He bent over in pain, clutching his hand. But what was there to do? It was all his fault. If he hadn't cut himself last night, he would have healed quickly. If he hadn't cut himself, he wouldn't have broken his hand in the first place. So he stood up tall. He wrapped his wrist left wrist , and his right hand, in bandage. His dress shirt and coat would cover his wrist, but there was no hiding his hand. _What is Yuuki gonna say?_ He prepared himself for the worst and walked out of the dorms to class.

Lukily for him, they were rather busy in class and she never turned around to see him. So it was a shock to her when they were doing their duties patrolling the school later, when they heard footsteps and he reached for his gun, only to yelp in pain and drop it to the ground, bending over in pain once again. Ichiru stood before them, laughing at his elder brother.

"What happened to you Butterfingers?" He hollered at him. Zero was about to reach for the gun when it was scooped up by Ichiru. He started fooling around with it. Tossing it from hand to hand lazily.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. It's loaded." Zero warned.

"Oh is it?!" Ichiru remarked sarcastically. "In that case-" He pointed the gun at Zero, he took a slight step backwards. He didn't want to test his brother, he had tried to kill him many times already. "Not that it would matter if it went off in my hands. So I don't car if its loaded. I could shoot myself in the eye and it wouldn't matter now would it?!" He pulled the "hammer" readying the gun to shoot.

"STOP IT!" Yuuki yelled and stepped in front of Zero with her arms outspread.

"Yuuki dear, this is a vampire gun, and I could shoot it straight through you and still kill little Zero here." She stepped aside and clung to Zero's arm.

"I'm warning you Ichiru. I will report you to the headmaster!" He quickly dropped the arm with the gun to his side.

"Oh no!!" He said sarcastically, "Not the headmaster! What Ever shall I do?!" He then reached out and grabbed Yuuki by the arm, pulling her away from Zero. She reached for her Artemis but both her arms were quickly held behind her back.

"Let her Go!" Zero threatened.

"I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm just playing." At this he leaned forward and nibbled at Yuuki's neck, causing her to yelp in fear. Even if he wasn't a vampire, he acted worse than one. He had always wanted to be one, and the fact that he almost couldn't be one left him completely bitter and insane about it.

This was enough for Zero, he could let himself be tortured, harrassed, beaten, or killed. But when someone touched or hurt Yuuki, he couldn't just standby. Before she knew it, she sat safely on the grass, Zero held Ichiru against a tree by his neck. Unfortunately, Ichiru still had the gun and had it pointed at his stomach.

~PKOW~~~~~~

A long silence filled the night as the gunshot rang through the air and quickly faded away.

Violet eyes wide in astonishment closed and a silver head slumped as the brother fell to the ground.

Zero looked down in shock. _Huh?_ What happened? He looked to the side to where his old master, Touga stood, holding up a rifle.

"You! Why did you-"

"He was about to kill you Zero!"

"So you went and killed him?!"

"No, he's not dead. Look at him. He's still breathing and everything. It was a tranquilizer." He chuckled and lit up a cigarette. Zero inspected his brothers body and sure enough, there in his right arm was a tranquilizer shot. He shook his head.

"It was ok, you didn't have to do that."

"Oh right. It was ok. He just had to gun clicked and ready against your belly. You had it under control."

"It wasn't loaded." He finally said point blank.

"Oh. Well, why didn't you say so?" Finally Yuuki started laughing. Or so they thought. Zero turned to look at her and she was crying and laughing at the same time.

"Yuuki? Whats-"

"YOU BASTARD!" She yelled at him. He was taken aback. He never heard Yuuki even cuss lightly like saying bastard, douche, or piss, let alone toward him.

"What?!" Touga decided it was time to leave them alone. So he picked Ichiru up like a child and brought him to the nurse.

"How could you scare me like that?! I thought you were dead for sure! Especially after I heard the shot! I had no idea it wasn't loaded." She had stood up and made her way to him. "Why didn't you tell me?" She threw her arms around him and cryed again. _Damn it! I'm crying on him again._ Zero relaxed and put a hand on her head.

"It wasn't exactly easy to tell you without letting Ichiru in on it too..." He said softly. He smiled and rested his head on hers. She was crying only softly now.

"I thought I had lost you." She said it so quietly he barely heard. He smiled softly and kissed the top of her head. A shiver ran down her back and she hugged him tighter, never wanting to let go.


	2. Can't Take This Anymore

"Well, well. What do we have here?" Zero jumped at the sudden intrusion. He let go of Yuki and stepped around her to face him.

"Kuran! What do you want?" He raised his unloaded gun at him.

"You made her cry again Zero. You ready to pay?" Kaname's eyes turned bright red. Yuki ran infront of Zero with her arms outstretched.

"No! Please, Kaname, he was only protecting me...I..." Kaname grabbed her arm pulling her into him and away from Zero. Suddenly Zero flew through the air and was smashed into a tree. His head connected with it with a **_CRACK. _**Yuki screamed and Kaname covered her mouth. She tryed to get out of Kaname's snatch to get to Zero but he was much too strong. She suddenly became faint and fell limp in his arms. He looked back down at Zero's now bleeding form.

"I think you had better leave her alone. Don't you think?" He said calmly full of threat. He looked up at Kaname. His vision was hazy and was coming in flashes. But he saw Kaname smirk as he turned and walked back into his dorms with Yuki in his arms before he blacked out.

* * *

{Yuki had begged Kaname to save Zero. She would have never asked him for anything like this but, she was in love with Zero. More so was her love for Zero than her instinct to give respect to Kaname Kuran.

"Why don't you just do it?" He'd asked snidely.

"Please Kaname! My blood won't help him anymore! Please!" She cried as she begged him. Finally he smiled down at her.

"Fine. I will do it on one condition."

"Yes, please, anything!" She beamed as she stood off the ground.

"Be my lover."

Her smile dropped.

"Kaname, I-i can't."

"Why not?" He knew the answer.

"I love Zero. That's why I'm here."

He wrapped his arm around her middle pulling her close to him. His other hand went to her face telling her to look at him.

"Be my lover or Zero will die."

Finally nodded in agreement and the tears streamed down her face when he kissed her lips.}

* * *

Yuki woke with Kaname leaning over her. He was just staring at her. She jumped and sat up quickly knocking their heads together in the process.

"Ow." She rubbed her head for a moment. "Kaname, what are you doing here?" She realized "here" was not her bedroom. It was dark but extravagant. It must have been Kaname's.

"Just making sure you're ok. You fainted you know..."

"I did?....why?..."

"That doesn't matter. Yuki, why are you so stuck on Zero?"

"Zero?"

"Yes, you seem completely obsessed with protecting him."

She shook her head. "I know I can't protect him......not even from himself." The last part was barely audible.

Kaname lay his hands on her shoulders forcing her to lay back down.

"What are you protecting him from?" she looked straight into Kaname's eyes.

"You." He smirked and kissed her forehead.

"A wise choice." She shook her head again. She suddenly remembered what had happened that night. She turned back to Kaname and slapped his face. He wasn't expecting it and looked back at her in shock. Her face was angry.

"What was that for?"

"YOU!"

"What?"

"What do you think? You hurt Zero!"

"He hurt you."

"No he didn't! He had been protecting me. I was only glad he was ok! Stop doing things without asking questions first!"

"I'm sorry." He lied.

"Kaname, please, why must you still torment him? I agreed to being your lover..."

"I know you still love him."

"Of course I do. But here I am."

"Yes, here you are."

He leaned in and tried kissing her but she turned away from him. He looked at her quizzically.

"You go back on your promise, I go back on mine."

"I promised to save his life. I never promised I would like it."

"You hurt him on purpose."

"And?"

She tried to smack him again but he was quicker this time and grabbed her wrist. He pulled her up toward him and kissed her lips. She pushed his face away with her free hand. She wiggled free of him and jumped off the bed.

"I can't do this anymore." She told him and turned for the door.

"Where are you going?" He had stood tall and leaned over her, asking in a demanding voice.

"To see Zero. You okay with that? oh, sorry, I don't care!" She pushed him farther away from him and tried to walk to the door. Before she knew it she was pinned against the wall, his hands holding her arms at her sides. She looked up at him with fear in her eyes.

"Kaname, youre hurting me..."

"Fine."

"What?"

"Fine. You go ahead and choose Zero over me. But just beware Yuki- You cannot protect him forever."

He looked up suddenly aware of something she wasn't. He let go of her and chuckled.

"Heh, in fact, you can't protect him at all."

She ran from him and out the door. Her feet beat hard against the pavement as she tried with all her might to be with Zero at that very moment. She had a very bad feeling....

* * *

When Zero finally woke the blood that covered his face and neck was dry and cracking. His head hurt like hell. He didn't want to move but knew he had better before he died there. He stumbled from tree to tree to his dorms. He held onto the railing as he made his way up the stairs.

"Bastard." He mumbled to himself the whole time.

When he got into his room he shut his door with his back leaning against it. He slipped down the door to sit on the ground. He leaned his head into his knees holding the back of it with his hands. The events of the night ran through his mind. He was sick of that Bastard Kuran.

He jumped up suddenly pissed. He punched the wall adjacent the door. Unfortunately it was with his already broken hand and he had left another hole.

"FUUUCK!" He leaned against the wall holding his hand. He slid down till he was sitting on the floor. When he was finally able to take the pain he walked to the edge of his bed and closed his eyes. He pointed the gun at his head and pulled the trigger. -*click*- It was still empty. Tears streamed down his face and his anger came back again.

"AHHHHGH!" He screamed out with his frustration. He stood and started randomly shooting around his room. He tried over and over again to shoot himself again.

He couldn't take this anymore. He had promised Yuki before she left his side for Kaname. He had no more reason to keep his promise. He walked to his dresser and opened the top drawer and pulled out a box. He opened it and revealed the ammo to his gun. He took out only one bullet and loaded it into his gun. Ever so slowly he lifted it to his head. He closed his eyes readying himself. His hand started shaking and tears poured from his eyes. He pulled the hammer and placed his finger on the trigger. He would count down......5....4....3....2.....


End file.
